I must have been seriously blessed because I’ve only passed stupid, uncreative, unmotivated, and unintersting people. I know of them, I’ve seen them walk past me, but I’ve been lucky enough to only have to deal with them occasionally. However, my luck has died and I am in constant contact with them. IT NEVER ENDS. They’re as interesting and intelligent as rocks. It’s mind blowing. So every time I see them, I think this:
Of course I must remain cordial and professional, and so I just nod and tell them that ONE day, they might be successful. (but NEVER on my watch.)
I’m lonely. There I said it. I’ve been trying my best to keep myself so busy, I wouldn’t notice, but it’s not working. I realized this while hanging out with a guy, I don’t particularly want to hang out with anymore. And right now, I’m a little lost when it comes to people. My brain seems to have come to the conclusion that everyone is out to get me in one way or another, and it keeps shutting down when I try to befriend people. I mean, the conclusion is valid, 95% of the people I know are using me for some ulterior motive, 4% is family who… use me as entertainment, and the last 1%, I don’t know what their reasons are but I’m sure it will come to light one of these days.
So with only a person, and not a people, I’m coming off as annoyingly needy. So now I’m stuck between wailing hug meeee all of the time and fuck the world I am a loner and I will deal. I just would like to be normal and be okay with sitting in the center of the room.
On a brighter, and more positive note, despite being weary to the bone, I managed to iron a few of my clothes this week. That’s right, I washed 1 month worth of laundry AND ironed some pants.
AND this tumblr is a little over 3 years old. Holy man moly, that’s alot of things to go over to see if I’ve grown or shrunken into a wailing baby. =\